The Canvas Grey

Inspiration, Perspective, Insight

I feel like laughing today!

Posted by TheCanvasGrey on July 11, 2007

You may have read these before but they are GREAT for a laugh on a day when you need a laugh VERY MUCH! 

 911 Calls


Dispatcher: What is your emergency?
Caller:  
I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown
  house on the corner.
Dispatcher:
Do you have an address?
Caller:
  No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why?


Dispatcher: What is your emergency?
Caller :  Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham
  and cheese sandwich.
Dispatcher: Excuse me?
Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen
  table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had
  taken a bite out of it.
Dispatcher: Was anything else taken?
Caller:  No, but this has happened to me before and I’m sick and tired
  of it!

Dispatcher: What is the nature of your emergency?
Caller:   I’m trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn’t have
  an eleven on it.

Dispatcher: This is nine eleven
Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
Dispatcher: Yes, ma’am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same
  thing.
Caller:  Honey, I may be old, but I’m not stupid.


Dispatcher 9-1-1 what’s the nature of your emergency?
Caller:   My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two
  minutes apart.

Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
Caller:   No, you idiot! This is her husband!


Dispatcher: 9-1-1
Caller  Yeah, I’m having trouble breathing. I’m all out of breath.
  Darn….I think I’m going to pass out.

Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
Caller:  I’m at a pay phone at North and Foster.
Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
Caller:  No
Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble
  breathing?
Caller:   Running from the Police.

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