The Canvas Grey

Inspiration, Perspective, Insight

Emails you just can’t resist sharing…

Posted by TheCanvasGrey on April 2, 2008

Thanks to my friend Deb who emailed me this recycling email.  This is funny, I don’t care who you are!

Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading America…. Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as “HILLBILLIES” you must now refer to them as “APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.”

Furthermore: 

She is not a “BABE” or a “CHICK” – She is a “BREASTED AMERICAN.”

She is not “EASY” – She is “HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.”

She is not a “DUMB BLONDE” – She is a “LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.”


She has not “BEEN AROUND” – She is a “PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.”

She does not “NAG” – She becomes “VERBALLY REPETITIVE.”

She is not a “TWO-BIT HOOKER” – She is a “LOW COST PROVIDER.”


He does not have a “BEER GUT” – He has developed a “LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.”


He is not a “BAD DANCER” – He is “OVERLY CAUCASIAN.”

He does not “GET LOST ALL THE TIME” – He “INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.”

He is not “BALDING” – He is in “FOLLICLE REGRESSION.”

He does not act like a “TOTAL ASS” – He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.”


It’s not his “CRACK” you see hanging out of his pants – It’s “REAR CLEAVAGE.”

More funnies that Accountable posted on her site (I love the 80’s). 

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7 Responses to “Emails you just can’t resist sharing…”

  1. Thanks for the linky love!!

  2. Hehehehe. I like the clever use of terminology in “rectal-cranial inversion.” And of course the Appalachian-Americans are dear to my heart as that term represents my dad’s side of the family. Thanks for sharing, CG!

  3. Gotta tickle that funny bone every now and again. Some of the best people I know are hillbillies, including moi!

  4. Mary said

    Deb,

    This is cute. I got a good chuckle out of it. Thanks for bringing a bit of humor into my life.

    Thanks for commenting on my post about Brandon’s Asperger’s Syndrome. I do appreciate it. Yes, these children have feelings. I think the uncle’s death is just plain scary to the little guy. Don’t let anyone tell you these children don’t feel emotion or don’t have empathy for others. They do, but do not communicate their feelings well.

    I will keep the little guy in my prayers. Please keep me updated.

    Blessings,
    Mary

  5. Angie said

    ROFL. Thanks for this CG. I am an APPALACHIAN-AMERICAN! Whoo hoo! now ya know why I be like I is.. who da thought?

    Hugs

  6. Mercedes said

    Woohoo~I am now an Appalachian-American! LOL

    This is too funny!

    Hey~just noticed Angie is too-yeehaw!

  7. My lovely ladies, I’m right there from hillbilly heaven myself! You can’t beat a good mountain woman!

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